Email to a friend:

The girls and I (Molly, Amy, Donna and myself) met at Molly's house and then headed out on a jolly romp to the movies only to return with heavy thoughts and hearts. The Constant Gardner should've gardened more constantly. The movie was chalk full of cheery topics such as genocide, greed, secrecy, betrayal, love, loss and murder. Whew! The chatty, giggly pack that started out that night drove home in mere silence and ended in hugs all around. Top that off with the novel, Lovely Bones, that I had started, but may not be able to finish, dealing with such difficult to swallow topics as rape, murder, death, ghosts, and of course, the human condition and I am ready to hear some good news. After a nice weekend, it has been a little bit of a heavy week. . . for more reasons than one.

I am very nervous about leaving my family for a week. I am so used to being their only source of care and support that I have clung to it like a muscle on a rock. I think I am going to suffer for the absence far more than I imagine they are. Anytime someone (or more likely two or more at the same time) calls out my name for any kind of assistance, be it large or small, I think: how are they going to survive without me? I think our mutual need for each other, which is obviously real, has become habit as well and as my friends remind me -- people live without each other for a week all the time. My children are going to survive.

There are so many changes going on right now. I am transitioning from my old job into . . . I don't know. My new position is a bit of an unknown. I can't picture how my new schedule will be and what impact that will have on my life. This is unsettling because I tend to like to know where I am going and what it will look like. I love adventure, so that is nice. But at the same time, I like security -- lifestyle is so important. I am looking forward to becoming familiar with my new career and then all the contents settling into place and the rearranging becoming a very nice life. This kind of adventure -- not just the occasional meandering hike or new sights and destinations -- can be a little less enjoyable, but it I am going to make sure that it is a very positive change. It's just a little scary right now.


Well, I hope I have not taken up too much of your day. I am going to head out now on a small bike ride and then ride into the magazine for the last day. I have so much I want to accomplish before I leave on Sunday -- grocery shop, clean house, laundry, attend Cole's soccer game, paint the entire interior of my home and plant fall flowers so my family has something pretty to look at to remind them that I care -- just a few things to do. I must pack and shop for luggage and business clothes as well. I have to leave Sunday morning at 9:00am because all the later flights were booked. I am so bummed out about that.

I will email you again when I get to San Juan Capistrano. Take care my friend!