Bad-Ass Jammers et al

First of all, I feel I must preface why I found myself laying in a hotel bed alone flipping through T.V channels. Well, I couldn't get an internet connection at the hotel, so I could not work; I had brought two great books of short stories and the latest issue of "Medical Laboratory Observer" (because I am a geek like that), but I was too tired to read, and sadly, not in the mood. So, this is how I found myself lying in bed flipping through T.V. channels, and this is what I found: "Rollergirls" on A&E.

It was a heart-wrenching, documentary-style program about the women of roller derby. I tuned in as the team leader, a pretty, but tough looking, blond woman was earnestly encouraging the young, unsure rookie: "You are our bad-ass jammer, you are." She encouraged her soulfully as she gripped her arm, looking into her eyes until the rookie nodded back agreeing that she was indeed,a bad-ass jammer.

The rookie, Venis Envy (spelled Venis, not Venus), earned her team leader's confidence as her team "La Putas Del Fuego" battled and clobbered their rivals the "Hell Cats." The girls careened passed each other, but not without clawing, pushing, punching, and smashing each other along the way. It was nice to see Chola win the first round and her entire family -- mom, dad, young children, even her old, little, withered Asian grandpa -- jump up and down cheering for their roller derby queen. (Grandpa was even wearing a t-shirt with "Chola" in spray painted-style lettering on the front as he applauded). They embraced her success.

Cha-Cha and Veruca Assaulted performed equally as stunning as "La Putas Del Fuego" defeated the "Hell Cats." "Nice Jam!" the girls yelled to each other in congratulations, "Nice Jam!"

The very next station I switched to featured couples WWF wrestling, with the most ridiculous cartoonish-looking characters. This appeared to me like it was just a front for brisk, orgy action and I flipped to the next station, re-runs of Seinfeld, and soon fell asleep.

I am glad I did not dream that night of roller derby, or ridiculous couples staged wrestling -- but I think I did dream of George Costanza. I think I said to him, "you are a bad-ass jammer."